Buy Clothes that fit

#beautyfilledyear

So, now that you have a bra that fits, it is time to find some clothes that fit.

The video above speaks to the heart of every woman’s shopping frustration, you don’t have to look farther than your own closet to know that not every garment is created equal. However, as real as the struggle is it is important to make sure that your clothes fit, not just so that you look good but so that you also feel good. It is important to feel good when you are bursting out of your outfit or when you are swimming in it.

Years ago an employer took me shopping, I found a beautiful shirt that made me feel amazing. I looked myself in the eyes and vowed to only buy clothes that made me feel that good for the rest of my life. I have gone through periods of honouring that vow to myself and periods of not caring what I look like. Recently, I took on the challenge of a capsule wardrobe. I narrowed down my closet to just 37 items (not including unmentionables, gym clothes, or pjs), that only left room for what I loved and for what truly fit. There are no “aspirational sizes” in my closet, no pieces to remind me of my heaviest weight, there are simply clothes that fit and that is an incredible feeling.

When you have clothes that fit you spend less time beating yourself up every morning because you don’t look the part and spend more time being productive about the things in your life that matter to you. Having clothes that fit force you to live in better communion with your body because you don’t possess any excess wardrobe pieces to hide behind. It truly is liberating.

I encourage you to invite an honest friend or a sister over and go through your closet. Sell that which is in good condition and take your proceeds to the store, try on multiple sizes and without looking at the number on the tag at the back of the jeans, skirt, dress or shirt, buy them.

I would venture to say that many of us give up looking our best because we don’t want to buy the clothes that actually fit. We are ashamed about that little number on the tag that hangs on the waistline of the jeans we want. Well, here is what I have to say about that: You cannot define yourself by that number in a tiny font. That number can’t hold a candle to your laugh, your spirit, your kindness and your tenacity. I don’t know a single person who goes around inspecting that number, no one actually cares. If it bothers you, I hope that you will healthfully do something about it. There is no crime in wanting to change, no crime in wanting to be better than you are. Do it, become that change. But, invest in yourself right now, today, despite what makes you uncomfortable. You are worth it right now and if you don’t invest in yourself now you won’t have a clue as to how to do it when you reach your goals, hopes and dreams.

BraWithCups

Get fitted for a bra

Dear ladies,

Please all huddle in, we are going to have a heart to heart. This #beautyfilledyear challenge is going to revolutionize your life! I’m talking, of course, about the one article of clothing we all have in common, our bras. Our bras are the hardest working piece of clothing we have, and they should be, because they protect some very delicate parts of our bodies. However, most of us don’t know how to properly shop and purchase the right bra for our needs. This is something we need to be talking about and education each other on! Our (ahem) ladies need to be kept happy, perky and at the right altitude.

My friend Carla over at La Bella Coppia has spent years designing, sewing, researching and fitting bras and lingerie. She has some great advice for how to shop and what your bras should fit like. With her permission I have taken her advice and passed it on to you. I have also thrown in some of my own advice in hopes that you will treat your ladies like they deserve. You will be amazed what a proper fitting bra will do.

Step one: Go for a fitting. Yes. You take your car to a mechanic, take your ladies to a bra fitter.

Step two: Buy a good sensible, everyday bra. Treat your underwear drawer as an art gallery, slowly curate a collection of bras and lingerie that you adore and can’t wait to put on. You don’y need to buy 10 bras at once (although, if you have the money go for it!!) Keep an eye on sales or promotions and add bras as you can afford them. You should have anywhere between 4 and 7 bras in your rotation.

Step three: Throw out your old bras. The ones that have sweat stains, broken elastics and just plain don’t fit need to be filed under G. Because they are garbage.

Step four: STOP PUTTING THEM IN THE WASHING MACHINE. Wash your bras by hand to extend their life and keep them happy.

Please stop by La Bella Coppia for more advice and information about bras and how to shop for them and care for them.

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Buy Professional Hot Tools

#beautyfilledyear

Last week you saw a stylist! Good for you! They probably gave you a wonderful blowdry and made your hair feel fantastic. Now, I want you to go to your bathroom and unearth all the hot tools you have chilling out under your sink. I know you have some. They are there, trust me. There is a flat iron that you have had since grade 10, probably a curling iron (or 2, no shame folks, no shame) and a blowdryer, you might even have some hot rollers kicking around. Honestly ask yourself just how well they work. For real. I have a rule, if you aren’t sure whether you should get rid of something or not, get rid of it. Look at yourself in the mirror, gaze into your beautiful, big eyes and repeat after me. “You are no longer 13, you are a grown a** woman. You need better hair tools that the $30 ones you can buy at target.” Say it again.

Here’s what I want you to do. Decide what kind of hot tools you need. If you plan on using any kind of styling tool you will need a blow dryer. That is obvious. Then decide if you want to purchase a flat iron (these are great for versatility) or a curling iron. Then, go back to your hair dresser, you know the place and you know her name because you have her business card (You did get her card right? If not grab one while you are there, and if you didn’t already, book your next cut and blowdry 6-8 weeks from now, you will thank me in two months) and ask them to point you in the direction of a good blow dryer. If they don’t have any, ask for some brand suggestions and search on Amazon. DO NOT, DO NOT go to Wal-mart, Target or Sally beauty. Their tools are for 13 year olds and we already established that you are not one.

A good hot tool will cost you money (some blowdryers cost $300) but you don’t have to break the bank. Find a good price that fits into your budget but be prepared to spend more than you think you should. You should spend this money because professional hot tools are gentler on your hair, the ceramics and metals that they are made out of have more even heat and smoother surfaces allowing you to flat iron your hair (or curl it) by only doing the process once (leading to less breakage and less over all damage), instead of three or four times. They also heat up faster, which helps in getting you out the door and insuring even and accurate results. Their cords are waaaaaay longer, which gives you the freedom to stand a little farther away from the wall so that you can actually see what you are doing in a mirror. They also last way longer. 8 years ago I bought a professional iron from a salon and I have dropped it, thrown it in suitcases and taken it to Africa, the UK and through the Panama Canal and it is still going! It works just as well now as it did when I brought it home.

So, head back to salon and see what they have for hot tools. And while you are there pick up some HEAT PROTECTANT. You are going to need it.

If your salon is less than helpful here are some of my favourite brands:

Heat Protectant: Anything from the Bumble and Bumble Primer family.

Ergo (this brand is expensive!)

Babyliss

GHD

Paul Mitchell

Avanti

(I’m not a fan of the brand Hot Tools, they are just expensive toys. Put that brand back and don’t let the small sticker price fool you. You get what you pay for.)

 

I hope this helps! Let me know what you bought!

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For the unbroken, for the whole.

A love letter to the unbroken.

You are enough.

You are not too much. (You are never too much.)

You have permission to dance through this life.

Don’t shrink so that others might be magnified.

Don’t waste your days, your incomparable beauty, or your dreams by picking at wounds that have learned to heal.

You are bold, emblazoned, chosen and set on a hill as a luminary to guide the wandering to safety, to bring them home and to lead them to stillness.

Don’t shrink.

Don’t trade your brightness for safe shelter.

Some may try to take it (your light, your chutzpah, your power)  from you, but only because your brightness scares them and makes them face the days when they traded brightness for comfort and easy passage.

Live in the midst of your wholeness, dance in your redemption.

Turn from your broken ways and rejoice.

Embrace your wild heart, let it run free.

You are not too much. (You are never too much)

You are enough.

Always enough.